There's a Chinese saying that goes like this: "The usefulness of a cup is in its emptiness." As young scholars we spend a lot of our time and efforts in trying to consume information--filling our minds with articles and book chapters written by the greats, listening to what our advisors say, and going to sessions like graduate student seminars or early career seminars. We follow this pattern for as long as we feel like we have reached a point when we are "experts."
But unless we pour that cup out, we cease to be useful. I can relate to this. After losing my mentor, I hungered for mentorship; I felt completely helpless and approached the rest of my doctoral career from a deficiency perspective. I think that mindset also carried over to my postdoctoral career. But I am beginning to move on from that mindset. The paradox of mentorship is that mentorship is most effective when YOU contribute at least as much mentoring as you receive. When you receive more than you give, you cease to be useful. Regardless of our situations, we have accomplished what we have because we have learned something along the way. Those things we learn are lessons that can be taught to others. Our hunger for mentorship should be matched or even exceeded by our hunger to mentor others.
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I was at a conference this weekend engaged in such activity as you described at the start of your post: listening to the more advanced along the way. The conference was small enough that audience members could ask questions after each main presentation. AND, after the Q&A, breakout sessions allowed for further discussion.
ReplyDeleteI felt it coming on immediately, as I was listening to the first presentation: That "I-am-a-novice-and-opening-my-mouth-will-betray-so" feeling.
I opened my mouth a little bit, anyway. I felt exposed even with just making a few comments. It allowed me to test my ideas among friends, though. Later I bonded with fellow novices, who thanked me for some of what I said. I returned the favor.
Still feeling out of my league, I pressed on: I shyly shared that I am launching a blog for graduate students to mentor one another informally and share what's enabling them to succeed ANYWAY (meaning, despite any obstacles.) Half expecting to be dismissed, the feedback was, "Oh! We need that! Here's my card. Send me the url."
In the process of preparing the blog (to officially launch Nov. 21st, 2011), I have had to start viewing myself differently: I DO know something. I HAVE learned something. I, in fact, AM a part of this community (the research community). Preparing content for the blog is tantamount to "mentoring," and while to some it may seem like a distraction from my own work, it has only "forced" me to accomplish more! (I need the exemplars to post!!!) Beyond adding momentum to my own work, the REFLECTION I've had to do in creating the blog has been INVALUABLE.
So I concur with you 100%, and I love the metaphor of the cup.
Last though (it's a kicker!): At the conference this weekend, one of the "more advanced" researchers (I'll call her Kat) shared a story about how she worked with a HUGE researcher in the field of math ed, and that he would frequently say he felt like an imposter.
We novices were stunned. We just kept questioning the fact by reannouncing the "imposter's" name: "So-and-so?!?? Really? He thought he was an IMPOSTER??? No way, I use his stuff SO much . . . ????"
Kat then went on to explain how the famous "imposter" just made the decision at some point to share what he felt he knew anyway. He did what he could to try to validate it, even though it wasn't his "field" practitioner-wise, and then he just jumped in and shared. He felt that people needed his ideas.
I notice that I have allowed myself to view myself as "stuck" in this between-practitioner-between-researcher stage. How will I transition? By doing the work, I think, but also by doing just what you said, Jason: Position myself as GIVER of what I receive, whether it is giving what I receive from mentors or the mentor within.
Loved your post, as always . . .
Mickey
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