3 Letters

It's amazing what 3 letters do- P, h, and D. I was asked what it felt like to now be Dr. Chen, and I think I just said something like, "it hasn't quite sunken in yet." But, if I think about it, the truth of the matter is that it has begun to sink in. I am now finishing out the first full month of being Dr. Chen and I am reminded of the words that have so famously been a part of graduation speeches: "I now confer all the rights, privileges, and responsibilities appertaining thereunto." It's true that we often get so caught up in the first two words without realizing the fact that in getting a Ph.D. there really are no new rights or privileges one earns besides being able to append those 3 letters to your name. We forget the fact that there are responsibilities that come with those 3 letters. And, as it turns out, those responsibilities are immense. Take for example the following quote, which I add as a signature to all my emails simply to remind myself of what all of this is for:

There are those who seek knowledge for the sake of knowing; that is curiosity.
There are those who seek knowledge to be known by others; that is vanity.
There are those who seek knowledge in order to serve; that is love.

--attributed to St. Bernard of Clairvaux

How true. I started the program because of the first line. I suspect alot of us do. The vanity thing is true too. I can't tell you how good it feels to have people admire what I do and cite or reference any work I've published. But the real work comes when I use my position and influence for the good of others.

I'm fortunate (very fortunate) to have a wonderful job to go to after graduation. I'm a postdoc at a major private research university (let's call it Elite U). This job FAR exceeds my own (or anyone's) expectations for what job I could have landed after graduating. Everywhere I walk, I'm reminded of the massive amount of history that is so much a part of what this university is all about. I'm reminded of all the important people who have walked the halls of this place. I get treated like a king because of where I work. And yet, in the back of my head, there still remains the voice of St. Bernard Clairvaux.

As I said earlier, this work turns out to be quite a lot. I haven't even officially started (my official start date is 7/1). But my boss (let's call him ":D" b/c he looks like that combination of characters and his name begins with D) has already contracted me as a "consultant" to have me begin work now (nice that I get paid too ... my boss really is awesome). I'm beginning to realize that now that I have these 3 letters I've gained access to a massive and rich intellectual world. I spent 4 years of my life being told that I know nothing and that I need to read this and that. But in the blink of an eye, I am now expected to lead group brainstorming meetings with professors from Elite U, doctoral students from Elite U, and Masters students from Elite U. I'm also expected to "consult" them ... in other words, tell them what they need to do. This much power is unnerving ... and it's nothing that my training prepared me to do.

Fortunately for me, I come from an institution that has a strong social justice component to it. But I suspect that such a feature is rare among schools of education, although I think more and more are beginning to see the value of this type of focus. I'm afraid to say, though, that within my own field (educational psychology) such a focus is painfully missing. I am hopeful because there seems to be a promising line of research in the grant I'm working with that includes this idea that interventions in mathematics are not a one-size-fits-all type of thing. That interventions are effective when the theory is appropriately applied to the right people at the right time. And that's the tricky bit of education. It is ever so contextual. It requires vast amounts of patience. Educating children requires teachers to find what works and for whom. And all that must be done out of love ... not vanity ... and not simply curiosity.